Food Dad Jokes

Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.

What did the baker say when she won an award? “It was a piece of cake.”

Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list. Now I can’t see anything!

That wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.

Kid: “Dad, can you make me a sandwich?” Dad: “Poof! You’re a sandwich.”

Why was the tea so cold for breakfast? It needed a t-shirt.

Did you hear about the bacon cheeseburger who couldn’t stop telling jokes? It was on a roll.

Which food tells the cheesiest jokes? Pizza.

What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-aid.

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crumby.

Why did the orange lose the race? It ran out of juice.

What did the late tomato say to the other tomatoes? Don’t worry i’ll ketchup.

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?”And I told him, “No it doesn’t.”

What do you call a shoe made of a banana? A slipper.

How do you get a mouse to smile? Say “cheese.”

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it’s a sour puss.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…

Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!

What vegetable is kind to everyone? The sweet potato.

What does a lemon say when it answers the phone? “Yellow!”

What did the juicer say to the orange during self-quarantine? Can’t wait to squeeze you!

What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? Boo-berries!

I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.

Don’t eat my cheese, that’s nacho cheese!

Where do burgers go dancing? At the meatball.

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Why aren’t guitars made of cheese? It’s too stringy.

What do tacos say in church? Lettuce pray!

What does garlic do when it gets hot? It takes its cloves off.

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

Why did the vegetable call the plumber? It had a leek.

Where to Easter eggs take each other to dance? The basketball.

A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”

I have a joke about cows, but I don’t want to milk it.

Which vegetable does a pirate never eat? Leeks.

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, “No, just leave it in the carton!”

I brought an egg to a comedy show and he cracked up.

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!

Why can’t you tell a taco a secret? They tend to spill the beans!

What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other? Dill with it.

I can’t take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking her. She’s a pure bread dog.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida sandwich for lunch today!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon some cookies in there? It smells delicious!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Egg. Egg who? Eggstremely disappointed you still don’t recognize me!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to open the door!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Taco. Taco who? Taco to you later. It’s taking too long for you to open the door!

Knock, knock, Who’s there? Hammond. Hammond who? Hammond eggs are my favorite.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Duncan. Duncan who? Duncan Oreos in milk is my favorite snack.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say “apple” again?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup with you later.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon a cake for your birthday.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana piece of birthday cake.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to unlock the door?

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you gonna open the door?

What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.

Did you hear about the love affair between the sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.

Don’t go bacon my heart.

How did the vegetable politely ask for a date? “Peas be my Valentine.”

If he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.

What did the pasta say to the tomato? I love it when you get saucy.

What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You’re a big dill to me.”

What did the puppies make their dad for Father’s Day breakfast? Pooched eggs.

Thanks for always bacon me happy.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Bacon Bacon who? Bacon cake for Father’s Day.

What did the Easter egg ask for at the hair salon? A new dye-job.

What do you call an Easter egg from outer space? An egg-straterrestrial!

Why did the Easter egg hide? It was a little chicken.

Why don’t you see dinosaurs at Easter? Because they are eggs-tinct.

Why was the little girl sad after the Easter egg hunt? Because an egg beater!

Did you hear the one about the house infested with Easter eggs? It needed an eggs-terminator!

How can you make Easter preparations go faster? Use the eggs-press lane!

How does an Easter chicken bake a cake? From scratch.

How does the Easter Bunny paint all those Easter Eggs? He hires Santa’s elves to help during their off-season.

Want some Easter advice? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

What did one Easter egg say to the other? Heard any good yolks today?

What did the Easter bunny say about the Easter parade? It was eggs-cellent.

What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker.

What’s an Easter egg’s least favorite day? Fry-day.

How does the Easter Bunny stay active? Eggs-ercise.

Why won’t Easter eggs go out at night? They don’t want to get beat up!

Why should you never show Easter eggs a scary movie? They’re all a little chicken!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butcher. Butcher who? Butcher eggs in one basket!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Heidi. Heidi who? Heidi the eggs around the house.

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wendy. Wendy who? Wendy Easter egg hunt taking place?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more Easter eggs to decorate?

What do you get if you mix a bounty hunter with a tropical fruit? Mango Fett.

What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side? Vader Tots.

Why did the potato apologize? He mashed up.

What side dish requires a plus-one when invited to dinner? Mac and cheese.

Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread? It’s a crummy job.

How did the cornbread keep its shape? It spent an hour on the gym’s bread machine.

How’d the Thanksgiving cheese plate go over? Everyone was grateful.

Why did the comedian ask you to pass the bread? He was trying to get on a roll.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice scream sandwich.

How do monsters like their eggs? Terrifried!

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich!

What did the gingerbread man use to keep his bed warm? A cookie sheet!