1. Who did the ghost take on a date? His ghoul-friend.
  2. Why couldn’t the mummy go to school with the witch? He couldn’t spell.
  3. Where do college vampires like to shop? Forever 21.
  4. What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-boo.
  5. How do ghosts drink their coffee? With scream and sugar.
  6. Why did the vampire go to the dentist? It had bat breath.
  7. What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!
  8. What did the zombie say when he met the human? Nice to EAT you.
  9. Why do people hate vampires? Because they suck.
  10. Why do ghosts speak Latin? Because it’s a dead language.
  11. What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
  12. How do you know if a mummy is sick? He can’t stop coffin.
  13. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
  14. Why don’t vampires attack Taylor Swift? She’s got Bad Blood.
  15. Why is it so hard trick or treating with twins? You never know which is witch.
  16. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Ice scream sandwich.
  17. Did you hear about the zombie that took a nap? It was dead tired.
  18. Did you hear about the witch that got school detention? She was ex-spelled.
  19. Why is a cemetery the best place to write a story? Because it has so many plots!
  20. Why wouldn’t the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with him.
  21. What is a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room!
  22. What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
  23. What do you call a vampire in trouble? A grave problem.
  24. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch.
  25. What did one skeleton say to the other? I’ve got a bone to pick with you.
  26. Why do witches drink beer? They enjoy a good brew.
  27. Why does a witch ride a broomstick? So she can make a clean getaway.
  28. Where do ghosts go on vacation? Mali-boo.
  29. What is a ghost’s favourite yoghurt flavour? Boooooooberry.
  30. Why don’t skeletons go trick or treating? They don’t have the guts.
  31. How do skeletons know what is about to happen? They can feel it in their bones.
  32. What do owls say when they go trick or treating? Happy Owl-ween.
  33. What position does the ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
  34. Who did the little monster ask for when he was scared? His mummy.
  35. Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders? They’ve got loads of spirit.
  36. Where do ghosts like to go shopping? Boo-tiques.
  37. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  38. What do monsters like to watch movies on? Wide scream TVs.
  39. Why can’t werewolves play basketball? They get too many howls.
  40. Why did the ghost quit his job? They kept making him work the graveyard shift.
  41. What did the ghost say when he realized he’d been cheated? I’ve been bam-BOO-zled!
  42. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
  43. Why did the skeleton climb the tree? A dog was chasing him.
  44. What is a pumpkin’s favourite sport? Squash.
  45. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos.
  46. What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Cut it out!
  47. If skeletons could be any ruler from history, who would they be? Napoleon Bone-a-Part.
  48. Why did the headless horseman start work earlier than everyone else? He wanted to get ahead.
  49. How do ghosts send letters? Through the ghost office.
  50. How do mummies tell their future? They read their horror-scope.
  51. Why are vampires easily fooled? They’re suckers.
  52. Why are vampires bad at art? They are only able to draw blood.
  53. Why don’t zombies like pirates? They’re too salty.
  54. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
  55. Who’s the scariest body builder of all time? Dr. Frankenstein.
  56. Where does a mummy go on vacation? The Dead Sea.
  57. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? Because they don’t have the guts!
  58. What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.
  59. Why do witches fly on brooms? Vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
  60. What do mummies listen to on Halloween? Wrap music!
  61. How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? Use a pumpkin patch!
  62. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
  63. Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry? They’re afraid of flying off the handle!
  64. What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin!
  65. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  66. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
  67. Why did the vampire read the newspaper? To find his own obituary!
  68. Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
  69. How does a vampire keep his breath fresh? Fang-flossing!
  70. What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo-jeans!
  71. How do monsters like their eggs? Terrifried!
  72. What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
  73. Why was the mummy so tense? He was all wound up!
  74. What’s a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek!
  75. Why do ghosts go to the gym? To work on their boo-dy!
  76. Why don’t vampires use toothpaste? They like to brush with fangs!
  77. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich!
  78. What did the skeleton say to the bartender? I’ll have two beers and a mop.
  79. Why did the skeleton go to the BBQ? To get another rib.
  80. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the W.
  81. What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends!
  82. Why was the ghost such a messy eater? Because he was always goblin’!
  83. What kind of candy do witches like best? Twix or Tweats!
  84. What does a ghost call his mom and dad? His transparents!
  85. What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck!
  86. What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newlywebbed!
  87. What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument? The trom-bone!
  88. What’s a vampire’s favorite candy? A sucker!
  89. Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They’re too wrapped up in themselves!
  90. Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a grave affair!
  91. Why did the ghost go to the doctor? Because he had a coffin!
  92. What kind of candy do zombies refuse to eat? Life Savers!
  93. What’s a ghost’s favorite food? Spooketti!
  94. What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist!
  95. What do you call a witch’s garage? A broom closet!
  96. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fangsgiving!
  97. Why did the vampire get in trouble at school? He was caught giving blood tests!
  98. What kind of monster loves to disco? The boogieman!
  99. Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits!
  100. Why did the vampire become a vegetarian? Because steak was a pain in the neck!
  101. What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the carnival? The roller-ghoster!
  102. What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until you’re spoken to!
  103. Why was the vampire always at war with his hair? Because it always had a bat-itude!
  104. Why did the zombie apply for a job? He wanted a coffin break!
  105. What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet!
  106. What do witches put in their hair? Scare-spray!
  107. Where do ghosts buy their food? At the ghost-ery store!
  108. What does the vampire’s Valentine say? You’re just my blood type.
  109. Did you hear about the coffin sale? That’s the last thing I need.
  110. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Bat. Bat who? Bat you’ll never guess!
  111. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Phillip! Phillip who? Phillip my bag with candy!
  112. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you has my candy?