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- What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
- What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts!
- How can you save money on Valentine’s gifts? Become single.
- How do astronomers propose on Valentine’s Day? They planet.
- What did one flea say to the other? You’re dyna-mite.
- What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you watts and watts.
- What did one puzzle piece say to the other? We fit together.
- What did one sheep say to the other? Ewe complete me.
- What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me.
- What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
- What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day? I turt-ally love you.
- What do astronauts say to their sweethearts? I love you to the moon and back.
- What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium? Guppy love.
- What do you tell a pig on February 14? Happy Valen-swine’s Day!
- What kind of dinner does Cupid eat? A heart-y one.
- 1 and 2 fell in love. 2 said, you’re the only one for me!
- 2 blood cells met and fell in love… Alas, it was all in vein!
- Are you a cat? Cause you are purrfect.
- Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded!
- Did you hear about the love affair between the sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.
- Did you hear about the octopuses that were in love? They went about arm in arm in arm in arm!
- Did you hear about the spider wedding? Yes, they’re newly-webs.
- Did you hear about the two boats who fell in love? It was a beautiful row-mance!
- Did you hear about the two radios that got married? The reception was amazing.
- Did you hear about the vampire wedding? It was love at first bite.
- Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Yeah, it’s February 14!
- Do you have an ice pack? I bonked my head falling for you.
- Do you know what this shirt is made of? Hubby/wifey material.
- Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me!
- Do you play soccer? Because you’re a keeper!
- Don’t go bacon my heart.
- Forget Valentine’s Day. I’m just waiting for the discounted chocolate.
- How can you get arrested on Valentine’s Day? For stealing someone’s heart.
- How can you tell if a calendar is popular? It always has a date!
- How can you tell when a squirrel is in love? It goes nuts!
- How did the bat couple spend Valentine’s Day? Hanging out together!
- How did the cashew share its feelings with the almond? “I’m nuts about you.”
- How did the coin propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a jingle.
- How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? “Whale you be mine?”
- How did the phone propose to his GF? He gave her a ring.
- How did the tennis ball flirt with the racquet? By saying, “Hit me up!”
- How did the two prunes confirm dinner plans? They said it was a date.
- How did the vegetable politely ask for a date? “Peas be my Valentine.”
- How did the whale ask the other whale on a Valentine’s date? Whale you be mine?
- How do chefs show their love? They whisk you off your feet!
- How do sheep share their feelings with each other? By saying, “I love ewe.”
- How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine’s Day? If it’s love at first bite.
- I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with my true love… food.
- If he doesn’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
- If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine lives with you.
- If I were to lay eleven roses next to you, you’d make the perfect dozen.
- If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
- Is your name Chapstick? Because I think you’re da balm!
- What are insects called when they’re dating? Lovebugs.
- What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love you berry much.
- What did one boat say to the other boat? Are you interested in a little row-mance?
- What did one calculator say to the other? You can count on me.
- What did one elephant say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love you a ton!
- What did one flame say to another on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match.
- What did one Hershey’s bar say to the other who arrived long past their date time? “You’re choco-late.”
- What did one hotdog say to the other? You’re a real weiner!
- What did one lamp say to the other? You light up my life.
- What did the painter tell his girlfriend? I love you with all my art.
- What did the pasta say to the tomato? I love it when you get saucy.
- What did the pencil say to the paper? I dot my I’s on you.
- What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day? “You’re a big dill to me.”
- What did the prince say to Ariel? We were mermaid for each other!
- What did the purse say to the handbag? I never want to leave your side.
- What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? Somebunny loves you!
- What do you write in a slug’s Valentine’s Day card? Be my Valen-slime!
- What does a heartbroken LEGO person say? I’m falling to pieces!
- What does a vampire call his sweetheart? His ghoul-friend.
- What does an owl sign their Valentine’s Day card? Owl be yours!
- What does Kevin Bacon say to his wife? Don’t go bacon my heart.
- What does Nicolas Cage say on Valentine’s Day? You’ve caged my heart.
- What happened when the candle went dating? It found the perfect match!
- When do bed bugs fall in love? In the spring.
- When is Valentine’s Day? Every year!
- Where did the high-heel take its date? To the football.
- Which day is the worst to propose on? April Fools’ Day!
- Why should you fall in love with a pastry chef? He’ll never dessert you.
- Why should you never marry a tennis player? Because, to them, love means nothing!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Bea. Bea who? Bea mine Valentine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke who just got a Valentine!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Peas. Peas who? Peas be my Valentine!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eyesore. Eyesore, who? Eyesore do love you a lot.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a big kiss?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter together than apart.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Love. Love who? Aw, love you too.
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Teddy. Teddy who? Teddy is Valentine’s Day.
